I am 34 years old, single woman. I am successful in my career but my lovelife is untouched. I have never been asked out on a date, nor any man will give a hint that they find me interesting. I always ask Father God during my prayers if there is something wrong with me. I have met so many people because of my job, yet, no one even asked for my contact details (unless if they are sales people). I followed what I have been reading that I should prepare myself before God will show me the one He chose for me. That if I want to meet someone kind, loving and God fearing, I should also be kind, loving and God fearing…I believe that I possess this 3 traits. That if I wish to meet someone who is strong physically and emotionally, I also made myself strong physically, by eating the right kind of foods and doing exercise, emotionally, I have been attending seminars on life coaching and church seminars, and I practice every single thing that applies in my life. Dont get me wrong, my faith is increasing day after day, that every morning I thank and pray to Father God that I am alive and prepared to face the next chapter of my life, that is having a relationship.
Every night, I still thank Him, even if I didnt meet the one, that there is still tomorrow. And this prayers has been said over and over for the past 10 years. Yes, there are times that my faith derails, that I get upset and frustrated, especially during special occassions like birthdays, valentine’s (ugh), new year and christmas, but that only shows that I am only a human being and I am not a perfect person. I fervently pray that I too, deserve to be loved, someone to ask me how was my day, hold my hand and even eat at the table with someone. I ask God, there are many people who take this small things for granted, God, can I have it instead? I pray that I will not feel alone this Christmas and New Year, I am not lonely, I feel alone. Alone while opening gifts, alone while shopping for gifts, alone while preparing and eating dinner, and praying alone. It is already hurting me, especially when I had a rough day at work, I go home, and just cry because I have no one to talk to. All my friends are married with kids, my family is far away as I work in another country. There are times that I dont know what to pray for because my prayers are all the same for a decade, I only pray that God, please read through my heart and you will see how hurt and alone I feel. Dear God, please, I hope you hear me, and I know you will give me the desires of my heart.
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